BLL Pregame: The Mary Geez Louise This Woman is Hot Garbage

20190630_1347370 Pretzels. Do not, under any circumstances, make this drink.

IF you were to make this drink, here’s what you need:

Gin – It’s okay with a mixer but, man, when you separate it from the pack and give it a good hard look, it’s awful. It needs something else to blend in. Kinda like Mary Louise

Cherry Bitters – Heavy emphasis on bitter, y’all. Cherry Bitters seems like it might be alright, but in actuality it is hot garbage. I don’t even see the point in it. Kinda like Mary Louise.

Grappa – It will burn you to your very core. It is awful ALL the way down. Kinda like Mary Louise.

Homemade Moonshine – It’s just there to make you sweat and feel bad about yourself. Kinda like Mary Louise.

Sweet Vermouth – Y’all, nothin’ sweet about it. Kinda like Mary Louise.

Dregs from an old pipe – Mostly I just wanted to feature my dope pipe, but let’s roll with it, shall we? Tobacco dregs – old, crusty, probably still smells good. Kinda like Mary Louise. Hey, say what you will about her, but I bet the lady’s hygiene is on point.

And that’s it. You just mix all this crap together, toss it back, stalk and lure in a sexual assault victim with pictures of your stupid son, and then berate her in public. Or how about you don’t? It’s WAY easier and less horrifying to have a Monterey Mint and stay ya’ ass at home instead.

All right, Lynx & LeRouxnatics, we’re approaching the back half of the season and I, for one, can’t wait to see what these gals get up to tonight. Whatever it is, it’s sure to be dramatic.

Okay, byeeeeeeee!

Smoky Lynx


Published by lynxandlerouxreview

Lynx is an amateur knitter, a cinnamon enthusiasts, and is a obsessed with reality television. LeRoux is a former merkin weaver and accountant. They very recently became a published authors. We love books, movies, and all things pop culture. We also love telling you what we think about shit. So, there you go, just your basic pop culture review blog.

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