In which Renata has the nerve to serve tea, and only tea, at a tea party.
5 Pretzels.
This one gets the full pretzel rating simply because of the ending. So, let’s check in with our gals, hit the high points, and then get to the end.
Madeline
Madeline and Ed go to a weirdo retreat. Okay, I’m down for a lot of things, but roaming around a room full of strangers looking for someone to hug is not one of those things. And, I’m jumping ahead a little bit, but it looks like both Joe and Tori want to hug Ed. I’m telling you, the ending of this episode was mostly me going, “WHUUUUUUUUUT?”
Celeste
Celeste is having a hard time with this whole custody thing, understandably so. Her attorney appears to be mute, which is an issue for Celeste. I don’t want to agree with the attorney, but I do. Team Mary Louise is trying to get a rise out of Celeste and it is working. Celeste has almost no chill to begin with and she’s about to lose what little she has.
Renata
Girl. That was the saddest tea party in the history of tea parties. Pathetic, truly. And trying to reason with Mary Louise is pointless. She’s going to sit there with her stupid hair, looking all timid, and then read you for filth. Look, I like Renata and feel for her in a way I didn’t think possible. But damn girl. Get it together.
Jane
Girl. I was feeling this Cory kid. Sure, he’s awkward and ask an absurd amount of questions about fish. Like, just don’t eat fish if you’re that concerned. But Jane seemed happy, so I was into him. Ziggy likes him, he’s teaching them to surf, he seems understanding and supportive of Jane’s whole deal. And then we get to the end. That mother trucker.
Bonnie
Okay, so, Bonnie’s mom just asked her to kill her and that’s a lot to deal with. You know what else is a lot? Nathan. I just can’t stand him. I think it’s the constant broing up to Ed for no reason and also the fact that he bought her a treadmill. Girl isn’t running because she likes running, ya’ dingus. He’s just the worst.
So, from this episode, I gather that Bonnie’s mom was abusive and her dad is an ostrich. Meaning that he didn’t really do much about it. Yeah, sure, he diffused situations, but never really handled the issue or helped Bonnie in any way. So, when Bonnie’s mom is like, “Hey, girl. Kill me.” Bonnie doesn’t know what to do. So, she does what any normal person WOULDN’T do and she loiters outside the police station. And that’s when we see Cory. That jerk. He’s undercover clownin’, y’all. < If you have no idea what undercover clownin’ is, you need to read our books. You can find the link here.
Also, what in the hell was that yoga class? Public singing?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!! Nope. I got more nervous just watching people do it. I can’t with that. I mean props to Bonnie for making that cash, though. It’s like Missy Eliot said, ain’t no shame ladies do your thang, just make sure you ahead of the game.
Okay, so the end. I thought Tori was alone and flirting with Ed to get back at Joe and Madeline. Nope. Joe’s over in the corner, serving lewks and lurks. They both wanna get with Ed, which seems out of character for Ed. But I might be wrong. Also, Joe gives me the creeps.
Cory is clearly working with the police and I hate that for Jane. She’s been through enough, right? So, yeah, I was pretty shocked with how this episode ended. And, now that Bonnie has clocked Cory, what’s going to happen next week? I can’t wait to find out.
Okay, byeeeeeeeee.
Smoky Lynx
Holland + Harper Productions 