5 Pretzels. You simply cannot go wrong with a glass of whiskey.
Y’all, Jane has been through a lot. We all know that. But, now that Bonnie has peeped Cory – or whatever his name is – undercover coppin’, she’s about to be going through even more.
So, in honor of our lady Jane, we’re drinking three fingers of Jameson and wallowing in our own misery for about thirty minutes and then we’re going to get over it. Because, like Jane, we have a group of lady friends and a secret to keep us occupied. I mean, our group of lady friends is just us and my secret is that I hid last night’s dishes in the oven and I’m periodically adding them back to the sink since today is LeRoux’s dish day, but we’re basically the same as the Monterey Five.
Here’s what you’ll need:
Whiskey or whisky without the ‘e’, depending on your taste. I prefer Jameson for two reasons: 1) it fit nicely into Janeson, which I thought was clever 2) it’s good. You can use Bushmills if you like gross stuff, or whatever brown liquid is your jam. I truly could not care less.
If you want, you can use ice, but I like it neat.
Simply pour the whiskey of your choice into the glass of your choice and slowly drink it while staring off in the distance wondering how in the hell this has happened to you. Because NONE of the things Jane has been through have been her fault. Sure, she maybe should not have gone back to Perry’s room since she knew he was married, but that in no way justifies what he did. And this skinny, weird about fish kid is certainly not her fault. Look, in my experience, if someone is weird about food, it’s best to cut and run. Let’s say, for example, you have a roommate who drinks milk with their spaghetti and puts grape jelly on their garlic bread. Or when you go to Subway, they order a twelve inch meatball with mayo and pickles. These are real thing that have happened to me. Get out while you still can. In fact, when I’m considering bringing a new person into my inner circle, I take them to eat Italian food. If they don’t do it right, we can’t be friends. I have learned that lesson. Twice.
So, here’s to Jane. May she and Bonnie have a lovely, dramatic conversation about what’s his face and confront him. I guess we’ll find out tonight. If you hate whiskey, fine. Have this instead.