Boom Goes the Dynamite!

Veronica Mars Season 4 Episode 1

4 Pretzels

Hey Marshmallows! Who’s ready to dive back into the murder filled waters of Neptune, California? Me. I am. So ready. I know that Hulu decided to drop all eight episodes at once last Saturday but, girl, it’s been six years since we got any new Veronica Mars content. I’m going to savor it so I’m watching it one episode a week old school stylz.

Let’s start with the title sequence. It’s so very different from the original credits and that makes sense. When this show started Veronica was just a kid. A brilliant trouble magnet of a kid, but still. The sunshiny credits and the timeless bop that is We Used to be Friends by the Dandy Warhols fit her. Then in season 3 Veronica went to college. She was an adult and the cases were more complicated. Everything was and the credits reflected that. They were almost sepia toned and the slowed down cover of the credits song had a sort of melancholy to it. Now Veronica is a full grown cussing adult and the credits are almost black only lit with the occasional neon splashes. We have achieved full noir with this season. I have a feeling it’s going to be a rough ride kids.

Veronica has been back in Neptune for 6 years and she’s still working with Keith at the greatest private detective agency in the world and they’re still struggling to make ends meet. My favorite fictional dad Keith is working with the owner of a local supermarket. See, some cussing a-hole is setting rats loose in the store and it’s hurting his business. Keith is looking a little rough around the edges. He’s still using a cane because of the injuries from that hellacious car crash in the movie and he seems to be having trouble with his short term memory. This immediately made me want to throw up. Keith is a golden human being who is never allowed to age or get sick. Those are the rules.

The store owner blames his troubles on Big Dick Casablancas who has gotten out of prison and resumed being a human trash fire. He’s got a whole group of “community advocates” working with him to preserve the beauty of their town. What that means is that they want to erase all of the poor people and any establishment they might frequent. I’m going to call him Old Shriveled Dick from now on because he’s awful. 

Guess who’s back in town on leave from his super secret military spy gig? It’s Logan!  When we first see him he is emerging from the ocean carrying a surfboard and looking like he spent every minute of the last six years in the gym. It’s impressive. In fact, a whole group of youths are ogling him right along with Veronica. It’s spring break and Neptune is absolutely packed with drunken kids. That’s going to be important later but there’s a lot going on right now and I only have so much time. Navy life has been good for Logan. He’s worked through his issues. Broken the curse of pain and dysfunction that haunted his parents and emerged as a foxy and well adjusted adult who would very much like Veronica to marry him. Same, Logan. Same. Veronica panics. She’s only ever seen marriage fail and she doesn’t want that for them so she bolts and Logan takes it like a genuine champ.

Ok, down to the nuts and bolts of the episode. We meet Nicole who is played by Kirby Howell-Baptiste. She owns a bar called Comrade Quack’s and stands to make most of her money for the year during spring break but Old Shriveled Dick is trying to shut her down. She will brook none of his nonsense. She’s an awesome badass with leather studded gloves that she will not hesitate to use if you get out of line at her drunken duck themed establishment. 

At Nicole’s bar we meet a group of frat douches, some shallow girls looking to party, a group of D&D enthusiasts who are embracing their inevitable rejection by said shallow girls and a very spoiled rich kid and his fiance. Richie Rich is upset because his family has a house in Neptune but they won’t let him stay there because they don’t like his fiance so he and the rest of this motley crew are staying at the Sea Sprite Motel.

The motel is run by an adorable man and his sassy teenage daughter. Does this sound familiar? Maybe? In the midst of all the hedonism we cut to the hotel office and after some charming father/daughter banter the daughter is sent outside to get her homework from her car. The creep is there to hit on a pretty girl who is bringing a forgotten back to her friend, Richie Rich is trying to check out and get a refund, and one of the D&D boys is reporting that the wifi is down. I knew that there was a bomb in this motel but I was so nervous for this entire scene. Patton walks out to his car and suddenly the office explodes. He and the daughter are ok but almost everyone else dies. It’s terrible

Veronica and Logan are having dinner with Wallace (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and his wife when this all goes down and Veronica just can’t focus on card games and small talk so she and Keith go down to check things out. As Veronica is gazing grimly at the ruined hotel she sees the daughter looking lost and broken as she picks through the wreckage of the office. She’s emotionally involved before she even introduces herself. Just like any good PI story this one all starts with a girl and I just know Veronica is going to bust her cussing ass to get justice for this one and her father. But at what price?

That was a lot of plot but I am super into it. Catch me again next week and we’ll discuss episode two. There appear to be members of the Mexican cartel on their way to Neptune and they ain’t looking to party. They’re after revenge. Until then why not get your duck wet at Comrade Quacks? Their hurricanes are amazing.