Veronica Mars Season 4 Episode 4
5 Pretzels
Hey Marshmallows! So here’s the tea. There is so much information and plot packed into every episode of this show now. Especially since it’s a shorter season and we’re getting to the halfway point. A narrative blog is impossibly long now. I tried it for this episode and it was over 5 pages so the rest of these are going to be a thoughts/feelings roundup. I know you guys are watching the actual show anyway so you aren’t going to miss any plot points.
This week Veronica and Keith continue to explore the theory that OSD is behind all of the mayhem at spring break which means Veronica visits some season 3 villains that she sent to Chino herself to explore the connection between OSD and the evil doers. Keith interviews folks that own businesses on the boardwalk and finds out that OSD has been trying to buy them out for a dirtbaggishly cheap price for a while now and Maddy’s dad was the de facto leader of the resistance. Now, a series of shell companies are taking advantage of the wrecked property values to make even lower offers and lots of people are selling out. Veronica and Keith think OSD is behind those too but I think it’s Clyde. He’s certainly crafty enough to pull a move like that and I think he would really enjoy screwing over Big Dick.
Classic Dick is super stoked because he got a part in a Lifetime Christmas movie about a woman who falls in love with a mannequin over the holidays. Dick will be playing the woman’s jerky ex who is somehow also a mannequin. Veronica marvels at the chances that one woman could date two mannequins and the whole thing makes me so joyful that I had to include it.
The mayor has called the feds in and Leo is one of them! He thinks they may have a serial killer on their hands and tries to be cute and bring Veronica pizza to trade for info like the old times but Veronica isn’t home. Logan is, and he delights in putting the screws to Leo before inviting him in and then being a lovely and charming host. There’s a funny bit where he dramatically asks Veronica if she’s accusing him of cheating because he’s snacking on pizza that is not his usual order and then says “Oh shit. The jig is up when Leo walks into the room. THEN he munches another mushroom and says that Piz is back there too, somewhere. It’s hilarious and I want to really take another opportunity to shout Logan out for working to be the best most emotionally healthy version of himself while still retaining his impish sense of humor and being built like Captain America. Even Leo thinks he’s dreamy and tells Veronica that very thing during a snack filled stakeout later.
Daniel Maloof is feeling like maybe having the two rednecks killed was rash and he’s feeling hella guilty about it but he can’t find Alonzo and Dodi to call it off. Enter VINNY VAN LOWE who Mama Maloof has hired to track down the missing engagement ring. He trades hilarious barbs with Veronica and calls Keith Captain Nohairica which still makes me giggle real hard. Then he tracks down our hitmen for Daniel. It’s too late though. The deal has been done. Alozno even shows him a video to prove that the task was completed but it turns out our hitmen were more like hit and miss men because little redneck is still alive and makes his way out of the desert at the end of the episode. That does not bode well for Daniel but he brought it on himself. You reap what you sow, yo.
Penn’s whole murder club is mad at him for making them looks like fools on a national scale with his whole Maloof did it theory. When Maddy innocently shares Veronica’s theory about what happened he goes to the city council meeting and spouts it all off in front of an emotional crowd causing the vote they were all there for to be postponed, OSD to lose his ever loving mind and absolute pandemonium to erupt in the courtroom. Penn says he’s out to help the little guy but really he’s in this for the glory. The only problem is he has no idea what he’s talking about yet he won’t stop talking. I know this guy. We all know this guy. Anyway, OSD looks extra guilty now which just supports my Clyde theory. The big bad is never revealed this early or easily.
Lastly, I’m introducing an injustice of the week segment. This week Veronica herself is the responsible party. She rolls upon the kid that she mugged to ask him who he’s working for and this dumb mothercusser tries to act all hard to impress his friends. There are like 10 guys there but Veronica is a steely badass until three of them grab her and then things get legit scary. Suddenly the sky darkens and lightning crackles as Eli Weevil Navarro appears. He screams at the kids and when that doesn’t stop them he fires a shot into the air and says the next one go into their bikes. Steely badass personified right there y’all. The kids scram and rather than thank him Veronica accuses him of working with OSD on his bombing project. Weevil is pissed and he should be. Maybe he gets into some low level trouble now and then but murder is not his jam. Well, unless you kill Felix. Then it is most assuredly his jam but only because he’s such a loyal friend. When will Veronica get it together and stop accusing one of the few people who has consistently had her back the whole time she’s known him? Not soon enough for me. JUSTICE FOR WEEVIL! RESPECT FOR WEEVIL!
Join me again next week, won’t you? We’ll discuss another excellent episode of this near perfect television program. Until then don’t forget to get your duck wet down at Comrade Quacks’s!
Holland + Harper Productions 
