What’s up, Lynx & LeRouxnatics? Today is Grandparent’s Day. We have many fond memories of hanging out with our grandparents. The albino peacock farm, the revolving door of new grandpas, hunting monsters, learning magic tricks, watching grandma navigate the spiral staircase in 6 inch heels while half in the bag; so we’re honoring our ancestors by chugging their favorite beverages.
First up, Grandma Lynx.
Grandma Lynx was a hilarious, clever queen. Her drink of choice was vodka. And, because she liked to keep it simple, she didn’t bother with mixers. The key to kickin’ it with Grandma Lynx is to somehow not give away the fact that you’ve replaced literally all the water in your diet with vodka. It’s tricky, but with enough determination and practice, you, too, can pull it off.
Well, Grandmama Lynx, like me, has had her fair share of husbands. Most of them were bourbon drinkers, but her latest husband is a teetotaler. I don’t know how or why they met. I’m just glad he’s around to remind her where she put her purse because she never knows.
My grandparent’s on my mother’s side were from Kentucky. So, they’re all about those mint juleps. You can get the recipe here. Grandma Sinclair says you have to wear a giant fascinator hat to really enjoy the flavor. She’s probably lying, but I choose to pretend she’s correct.
Now, on to LeRoux’s family.
Look, the LeRouxs are…eccentric. Loraine LeRoux, Charlaine’s grandma spends most of her time traipsing through the woods looking for weird creatures. I don’t understand any of it, really. And, frankly, I don’t care. But, while out on her adventures, she always has a flask of moonshine. Maybe the woodland monsters like it? I don’t know.
Grandpappy LeRoux also digs the moonshine. He also resembles a woodland creature. Charlaine’s family makes literally no sense to me.
Charlaine’s mother’s parents are fancy as hell. I have no idea what they drink because they are too bougie to even bother talking to me. Lady Babaduex is my personal hero and I aspire to one day be as aloof and terrible as she is.
So, raise a glass to your grandparent’s, they earned it. Unless your grandpa is Grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. That guy is a dick.