309:
So, this episode was heavy. Logan and V break up, Weevil makes friends with the Dean, and the Pig Sty’s throw a party.
First things first, the Dean has hired Keith to determine if his wife is having an affair. She is. With V’s Criminology professor. The Dean doesn’t take it very well. But he did find time to bring back the Greek life, so, of course, they throw a party about it.
V and crew go to the party, but not to enjoy it. Their whole gig is to keep an eye out for women who appear to be drugged. They also have these really handy coasters that can detect GHB. They find a drink that’s been dosed, but no girl. Luckily, everyone wrote their name on their cups. Wallace and Logan team up to go find her. Unluckily, little sister is the target. V finds out and goes to help.
It’s Mercer. Gross. V interrupts the assault, so he attacks her. She runs away and, fortunately, Wallace’s RA is around to help. Except he’s helping Mercer. V is in serious trouble, but she manages to get away, get help, and get Mercer and pal locked up for good. Or maybe just a couple of months if they’re really good at sports.
Logan, angry that his friend is even more of a creep than he is (I haven’t forgotten about the secret camera above his bed or his bad highlights), smashes up a cop car to ensure he goes to jail. And I guess they only have one cell because everyone gets locked up together. Logan looks pleased.
Weevil, bless hims, goes to deliver a new piece of equipment to the Dean. He has the unfortunate luck to find the Dean who has committed suicide. Or has he?
310: Monkey Business
We have jumped six weeks ahead in our timeline. The Dean’s death has been ruled a suicide. However, his widow hires Keith to prove otherwise. She’s not getting her life insurance payout, see.
Back on campus, the lab animals have been stolen. Thank the gods. The lab techs were going to kill little Oscar. Said lab techs hire Veronica to get their animals back. To do so, V and Mack {Return of the Mack} infiltrate an animal rights group. V gets the case solved and Mack gets a date with an adorable dude. Turns out, boy lab tech got really attached to Test Subject 25 – an adorable monkey – gave him a name (Oscar) and stole him so he wouldn’t have to die. The disheartening part is Test Subject 26 has been express ordered and will arrive in six short days.
Episode 311:
Max, the guy who sells tests and study guides to students, has a conundrum. He met a gal, they hit it off, and now she’s getting married. He would like to talk her out of it. It already sounds like a terrible idea. It is. This episode is basically a G rated version of True Romance. So, unlikely romance without all the murder and the escort takes off in the end. Also, there is no Gary Oldman in this episode.
It appears to always be white boy day in Neptune.
This episode was just okay. My biggest issue was the repeated use of the word hooker. I know it was 2007 and I think, for the most part, we’ve moved past using outdated words when it comes to talking about sex workers, but it bugged me. Mostly it just made me want to watch True Romance.
Speaking of romance, Logan and Veronica broke up…again…because he slept with Madison Sinclair in Aspen. I’ve never been to Aspen, but I feel like it’s overrun by people with names like Madison Sinclair and Chase VanShoulderHolster or whatever. He and V were broken up at the time, but V hates Madison – for good reason – so Logan knew how much it would upset her if she ever found out. Not that he intended to tell her.
Episode 312:
Keith is really digging into the Dean murder or suicide case. I mean, I think that’s what investigators are supposed to do. It’s hard to know for sure because Sheriff Lamb is our example and he is 100% the worst. But Keith is actually, you know, talking to people and looking at evidence. The case is not as open and close as it seemed.
V and Logan are both super sad pants about the breakup. He’s moping and hanging out in dark rooms alone, like you do. She’s solving a weird miscarriage case. That’s right. A miscarriage case. Bonnie, girlfriend to Criminology TA and sometimes companion to Little Dick, discovered she was pregnant. She was undecided about how to handle it, but then she miscarried. Turns out, she was given a morning after pill designed to cause a miscarriage if you are, in fact, pregnant. The suspects are many: TA boyfriend, Little Dick, her pastor father. Little Dick is almost immediately eliminated because he seems to have little to no understanding of how anything works. He’s far too busy taking Polaroids of Little Little Dick and tossing them off the balcony for kicks. So, he’s out. That leaves TA and father. V is convinced it’s TA, but she’s super wrong. Bonnie’s longtime friend and roommate did it. She was trying to be helpful. Look, that’s not helpful, just in case anyone is wondering.
Okay, here’s my real issue with this episode. V approaches Weevil to see if he could steal and smash Madison’s new car because she’s mad. A smash for a smash, I suppose. Remember how V has been self-righteous and sanctimonious about Weevil’s criminal history? You can’t do that if you then turn around and ask him to be a criminal for you. It’s not right. And they don’t even smash the car. So, Weevil risked getting caught and going to prison literally for nothing.
This post seems really ranty. Because it is. I’m bothered by rape, animal testing, disrespecting people because of their profession, and holding people’s past against them until it is convenient for you; this block of episodes had all of the above. Also, it’s Monday. I’m super bothered by Mondays.
I didn’t dislike this block of episodes, it just wasn’t’ my favorite. So, here’s hoping the next set is better.
Okay, byeeeeeeeee.
Smoky Lynx
Holland + Harper Productions 