Veronica Mars: 313-316


Episode 313: Adventures in Babysitting

In which sportsing is hard, Logan gets a new buddy, and there’s a murder!

We open with a locker room scene. The Hearst basketball team isn’t winning, and the coach is mad. Real mad. And he’s taking it out on his son. It’s inappropriate and, unfortunately, it’s totally on brand for sports parents. Son quits the team and storms out, which is really unfortunate when Coach Dad’s body is found…by the son. It’s a big ol’ mess.

Meanwhile, Little Dick found a girl. And she has a friend for Logan who is super sad pants about the breakup with V. Turns out, the friend is girl’s little sister and he gets stuck with her while Little Dick runs off to get married. Yep. Someone married Little Dick. The little girl, Heather, is pretty persistent when it comes to getting V and Logan back together. Honestly, this is the most I’ve liked Logan ever. He seems like a real boy! I’m sure he’ll do something really terrible soon, but for now, I’m feeling sympathetic toward him. What even is wrong with me?

Meanwhile, back at the station, an eyewitness comes forward and coach’s son is arrested for the murder of his father. Veronica and her father are trying to prove otherwise while simultaneously trying to solve the Dean’s murder case. Keith is pressing the Dean’s wife like a panini while V focuses on the Criminology teacher. Something is definitely off about their story. Is it the fact that they are two adults over 30 yet are somehow able to stay up until 3:00 am and still function the next day? Definitely. But there’s also something else. See, we know the Dean made an appearance at the Neptune Grand, the Marses do not.

While this is happening, Logan becomes Mario Kart and ice cream buds with an eleven-year-old girl, Dick discovers marriage isn’t that great, and Veronica is arrested for aiding and abetting. You see, she sneaked cookies into coach’s son and now he’s out of jail. His cellmate, who looks eerily like Kurt Vonnegut, blames the cookies.

Episode 314: I am Anaphylactic Shocked

In which it was in fact the cookies, the Criminology professor is rude, and Lamb is surprisingly somewhat competent…but only for a minute.

So, Josh – the coach’s son – is allergic to peanuts. V didn’t know that when she gave him peanut butter cookies. He used his anaphylactic shock to make a break for it. And it worked! He’s on the run, he’s kidnapped the young man he suspects, and wants to head to Mexico. It’s a lot for a Freshman in college. Turns out, it’s a hella complicated case. I mean, Vinnie Varlowe is involved. The wife stood to gain a lot if husband died. Husband had a secret terminal illness. Where will the madness end?

The Dean’s case isn’t any easier. The witness’s timeline is all off, Weevil found some clothes hidden in the boiler room. Oh, and the wife’s ex-husband is now involved, and Sheriff Lamb is dead. What? So, Keith is acting Sheriff because that is not at all how the chain of command works, but I’m sure he’ll do a fine job.

I’d go into more detail, but I mostly want to say that, in this episode, Logan ends up hanging out with Mac, her boyfriend, and Parker. They go on a Valentine’s scavenger hunt. Here’s the part that hard for me, Logan is actually super adorable in this episode. Like, I officially like him. I mean, he’s probably still the worst, but for now, I like him.

Alright, back to the murders.

Episode 315:

Landry and the Dean’s wife’s story is falling all to pieces. Like, all to pieces. Landry and Mindy swear that they did not kill the Dean. They did, however, both run off to Ernest Hemingway’s favorite spot. But then things went sideways and Landry accidentally killed Mindy. Long story short, the TA may not have tricked his lady into having a miscarriage, but he sure as heck killed the Dean and tried to frame Landry. He had access to all the Dean’s stuff, bugged his phone and, his major mistake, he bugged V’s phone, too. She called him out in the middle of class. He goes to jail, Landry is still going down for manslaughter, and Criminology is basically the Defense Against the Dark Arts of Hearst College.

Someone else is dead, but Neptune is so overrun with dead bodies that the Mares scarcely seem to notice.

Episode 316: Yankee Doodle Damn Dandy

Logan and Parker are kind of sorta an item. Logan is planning Parker’s birthday party and V is pretending to be super chill about the whole thing. To take her mind off things, she’s working a case. Assholes are terrorizing an Arabic family for being terrorists…because that makes a ton of sense. While V is cracking down on terrorism, Keith is going after college bars selling to underage kids. And he’s asked his deputies to assist him in cracking down. They seem shocked and amazed he’s asking them to do work but, to be fair to them, Lamb was there boss up until very recently.

Back to Veronica, she tracks down an Arabic boy who owns paint ball guns and accuses him and his friends of vandalizing the restaurant. I may be mistaken, but I am 98% sure she calls one of them “towely”. I hope to heck I am wrong. I rewound it and heard the same thing the second time. So, we’re just going to move on from that. Okay, so, she 100% just said “desert fever”. This episode did not hold up well. Not at all. The gist of the story is, the parents want their daughter to marry a Muslim boy, and she’s not interested. The daughter has a boyfriend who happens to be Jewish. It’s a whole thing. But, honestly, it’s too cringey. Let’s move on to Keith.

Keith is having a hard time getting the bars to cooperate and not serve minors. Things get really awkward, not as awkward as the other plot line, but still awkward when Keith busts Wallace and Piz for underage drinking. You see, V made their fake IDs and they are legit. So, anyway, Keith finds out none of his deputies are doing their job and they have a whole “You can’t fire me, I quit” situation. So, the deadliest town in all the land doesn’t seem to have a police force.

Veronica’s case works itself out and she heads to what is sure to be an awkward birthday party. Logan is hosting a shindig for his new GF Parker. The gang’s all there and V is pretending to be very chill even though she is not. In a move that I don’t like at all, she uses Piz’s crush on her to her advantage. Wallace, always such a solid dude calls her out. Besides, joke’s on her. Piz is awesome.

With the exception of V’s story line in episode 316, this block was decidedly better than the last one. I can’t wait to see what these crazy kids get up to next.

Okay, byeeeeeeeee.

Smoky Lynx

Published by lynxandlerouxreview

Lynx is an amateur knitter, a cinnamon enthusiasts, and is a obsessed with reality television. LeRoux is a former merkin weaver and accountant. They very recently became a published authors. We love books, movies, and all things pop culture. We also love telling you what we think about shit. So, there you go, just your basic pop culture review blog.

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