Episode 317: My Pretty Bronies
First of all, Paul Rudd. You absolutely can’t go wrong with Paul Rudd. He’s playing Desmond Fellowes, former rocker, current alcoholic and he’s doing a special show at Hearst. Piz is essentially his babysitter for the weekend and, boy, is it a tough job. Especially when Piz realizes Desmond took the wrong bag from the airport. He calls on V for help. It’s only mildly awkward since they’re both pretending their make out sesh didn’t happen.
Through a series of events, V and Piz work together to pull Desmond out of his funk and restore his confidence. But mostly this happened:
Piz: This show is brought to you by Rigley’s Extra gum.
Desmond: Like, their leftover gum?
Piz: No.
That got a legit lol from me. Leftover gum. I died.
So, what else is up in Neptune?
Logan and Mack spend the weekend building an ass-based business and preparing a powerpoint for Logan’s class. Though the presentation does not go well, the business model seems pretty solid. While building the site, Mack hung out with Max and has since decided she needs to break up with Bronson. She can’t resist the philosophical hacker. Plus, Bronson plays frisbee golf and that’s crossing a line, y’all.
Keith is running for sheriff and he’s super stoked about it until he learns that Vinnie Vanlowe is also running. The idea of Vinnie being any sort of authority figure just delights me. I’m also delighted that Keith has rehired Deputy Leo. I know he stole evidence, but I like him.
318: Nelsan Ellis is a Damn Treasure
In which everyone is looking for an internship, V takes an exam, and Apollo is a big deal on campus.
V is all set to take her PI exam. Piz is getting major internship offers based on his radio program, and he interviews Apollo, a child soldier in Uganda who escaped. Child soldiers are a terrible, real life problem that and I’m glad we’re talking about it. Also, Nelsan Ellis. Look, he was a wonderful person who died too young and we simply did not deserve him.
Apollo’s father has hired V to help reunite him with the son he’s never met. Apollo is initially nervous – he thinks he may be after that green – but he eventually comes around.
On top of all the murders, there has also been a recent spike in robberies. Neptune is just brimming with criminals, y’all.
So, really, the standout moment in this episode was Little Dick. See, Daddy Dick showed up just long enough to make Little Dick feel terrible about Cassidy and berate him for wanting to hang ten with Logan. LD cancels he and Logan’s summer plans so he can kick it with Daddy Dick before DD goes to jail. Logan breaks the news to Parker who is decidedly disappointed.
At the end, the cast does a PSA shouting out Invisible Child, Inc., an organization that works to bring awareness to the fact that literal children are being trained as soldiers in Uganda. It’s terrible and it is beyond me why they chose Little Dick to spread the word. I realize Ryan Hansen likely isn’t a dolt, but man, Little Dick probably couldn’t find Africa on a map. I appreciate the awareness, though.
319: It’s Come to Fisticuffs
Weevil is back, y’all, and he, of course, is up to no good. Fake IDs and cards abound on the Hearst Campus and there’s only one person to blame for it. The guy who isn’t white or exceptionally good at sportsing! Weevil must have done it! After all, we know he’s a criminal because of that very weird show and tell presentation Veronica did earlier in the semester for her Criminology class.
Weevil swears he is innocent, gets out on bail, and despite his fingerprints being all over the place, him hiding a student ID machine in his locker, and his background, I am absolutely loathe to believe he’s done anything wrong.
There is also a debate between Keith Mars and Vinnie Vanlowe, but Vinnie is such a moron is barely counted. The real action comes later!
So, Little Dick received a sex tape of Veronica and Piz via email. He, being an absolute idiot, showed Logan. Logan went absolutely bananagrams. He found Piz and beat the heck out of him. Like, bad. Real bad.
Also, Wallace has been asked to join a secret society. He 100% should not do it.
320: Finale Fisticuffs!
Let’s begin with the secret society because they are behind all of this. And the Kanes are behind the secret society. What!?!?! I sorta forgot all about them. Duncan’s wee baby is probably in school by now.
Anyway, they are behind the sex tape. They were intending to watch Wallace and Piz just so happens to be his roommate. To get answers, Wallace continues his weird ass initiation for Veronica’s sake. It’s some real PLL shit up in there. Shock collars and weird rooms. I can only assume Mona Van Der Wall is involved somehow.
With this new info, V breaks into the Kane’s house to steal the hard drive. Kane reports the robbery and, with the help of a nosy neighbor, Keith discovers there is footage of his daughter very clearly breaking into the Kane house. He takes the tape and stores is carefully in the evidence room so he can tamper with it later.
Look, Keith is pissed. And rightfully so. V has an internship with the FBI lined up, she’s got a lot going on, and now she’s been busted breaking into a house. So, he does what any standup dad would do, he destroys the evidence. He is, of course, caught. It looks like Sheriff Vanlowe may become a thing.
Back at school, V has tracked down the dude responsible for the tape and, because he’s Logan, Logan beats him up. And, in a move not like Logan at all, he sincerely apologizes to Piz. That Logan. He may just be a productive member of society yet!
The episode ends with Veronica voting for her dad for sheriff and walking out in the pouring rain.
And that’s it, y’all. Did he win? Is Veronica’s future secure? Did Piz take the internship in NYC? Did Wallace go on a mission trip to Africa? How many times has LD been married at this point? Most importantly, is Weevil okay?
I don’t know, y’all. I don’t know. The great thing about waiting forever to watch a show is, I can find out immediately.
Time to start Season 4.
Okay, byeeeeeeee.
Smoky Lynx
Holland + Harper Productions 