Drag Race Eleganza: S12, E11

4 Pretzels.

You guys, we’re nearing the end of, dare I say it, my favorite season of Drag Race ever.

Per usual, this week’s episode was super fun. Let’s get into it, shall we?

The Aftermath

Halleloo! No one went home. Everyone seems genuinely happy to remain a top six. I mean, Gigi had a real moment where she admitted she was a little bummed everyone was still there, but she loves her sisters. It’s just that this IS a competition. The lack of drama makes me forget that sometimes.

The Mini Challenge: Everybody Loves Puppets!

It’s been a minute since queens have been asked to drag up a puppet and read a competitor. This challenge with this group was interesting. These gals aren’t shady, so it was fun to see them try to be. Jackie got Sherry and absolutelyl killed it. She was the winner of the mini, giving her an advantage in the main challenge.

The Main Challenge: One Woman Show

Our queens were tasked with writing and starring in a one woman show. A FIVE MINUTE show, which seems like a hella long time to stand in front of folks and try to be funny. The reviews are in. In order of appearance:

Jackie: She did a fun, yet heartfelt, skit about navigating her parents. Her dad is very supportive of her dreams, her mother is unaware she’s a killer drag queen. Her skit gave us some insight into Jackie Cox, and I loved it.

Crystal Methyd: Girl. She leaned into the weird and played a character, Phenomenal Phil. Phil is a male exotic dance instructor to the stars. Phil is also amazing. I would legit buy Phil Me Up, the instructional DVD. And I haven’t purchased a DVD in many several years.

Heidi: Heidi took us home. She told us a potato salad-heavy story about her family. Her skit had a ton of potential because Heidi is hysterical. Her performance ended up being a little messy. Too many characters, but her outfit was dope.

Gigi: My Gigi girl had a hilarious concept. Flight Attendant on the plane to Hell. She had many hilarious moments, she also had a few deer in the headlights moments. I wanted her to trust herself and really go for it. She was about 87% there.

Sherry Pie: Girl. I was livid watching her performance. First of all, the rules clearly stated that the time limit of five minutes. This bitch talked for seventeen. I wanted to Gong Show her at the seven minute mark. Then she had the audacity to pretend she didn’t realize she went over. Apololies! Apololies! I’m not buying it.

Jaida: She was tasked with following SP who, frankly, wore out the audience. Jaida has been on an upward trajectory, and I think Sherry Pie sabotaged her. Her skit needed work. It wasn’t the best one of the night, but she had a hard job after SP’s dissertation.

Category is: Purple

Here’s the breakdown:

Jackie: Purple People Eater Realness. Jackie went in a different direction this week, and I loved it.

Crystal: Purple Cow Stunning! She’s just so much fun.

Heidi: Pretty in Purple. She went glamour. The dress was beautiful, and purple is a great color on her.

Gigi: Daphne Blake. Down to the white heels. Perfection.

Sherry Pie: Some bullshit about the Chesshire Cat. She didn’t look like a cat, Chesshire or otherwise. It was bad. I don’t like her, but this was an extra bad week for she and I.

Jaida: GIIIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLL. I can’t even talk about how beautiful she looked in shimmery purple. She’s perfect.

My favorite looks:

Crystal Methyd
Gigi Goode
Jaida Essence Hall

My least favorite:

Sherry Pie. 100%.

And the Winner Is:

Crystal Methyd!

She finally won a challenge!!!! I’m so thrilled for her. And so is everyone else. That’s the beauty of htis season. The support is wonderful.

The Bottom Two of the Week:

Heide vs. Jaida. And I didn’t even want to watch.

Both ladies did a phenomenal job, but Jaida pulled out the win. That’s right. Our little Heidi Good God Almighty Afrodite is taking her soft and supple skin home. And I was devastated. She left with some advice from Mama Ru. Move. Go to a big city and be the star she already is. I hope she takes Ru’s words and runs with them. I also hope she gets a key to her hometown because that seems important to her for reasons no one knows. I love Heidi Hiding N. Closets No More and I want the very best for her.

Guest Judge: Whoopi.

Mrs. Goldberg if you’re nasty. I was worried that working on The View might have killed Whoopi’s soul, but I was wrong. She gave the queens great advice, took a moment to hug Jaida, and was all around wonderful.

Quote of the Week:

“She’s totally stalking us.” – Michelle Visgae making a broccoli joke.

Random Notes from the Week:

The only thing I would change about this episode is the bottom two. I would have clocked Sherry hard for not following the rules. She technically didn’t do the challenge. And her runway was confusing at best. And I guarantee Heidi could have out lip synced her.

Thoughts on S12E11? Tell us in the comments.

Okay, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Smoky Lynx