Drag Race S13,E12 & E13
We’re doubling down again this week because, well, I’m a slacker. Facts are facts, America.
So, last week, we had a nice girl roast and, well friends, it wasn’t that great. Our honorees were none other than Nina West, Heidi N Closet, and Valentina. So, two nice gals and one fan favorite. Look, Valentina is a lot of things but congenial isn’t one of them. So, Mama Ru is like, “Let’s bring back these nice queens and read them for filth but in a clever way. It’ll be fun.” And it should be fun. Roasts are fun. Turns out, though, our roast was only half done; three of our queens just weren’t that funny. But, let’s talk about our queens who shined. But first I wanna mention the greatest roast I’ve ever seen. Comedy Central used to do roasts on the regular. I accidentally flipped to the Bob Saget roast and, just as I was going to change the channel, Cloris Leachman was announced. Cloris got up there and destroyed everyone. Absolutely destroyed them. But she had one killer line. John Stamos was hosting and, as she was wrapping up, she turned to him and said, “I’m just here to fuck John Stamos.” And then she made a joke about being in a donkey show. Anyway, she was a legend.
Let’s get to roastin’.
Kandy Muse, surprising everyone, was a laugh riot. Opening the show, she set the tone. And she looked great; the best she’s looked all season. She did so well that she earned her first win.
Rose’ closed and she was also stellar. I actually thought she was going to win, but I was happy for Kandy.
Gottmik was hella nervous but landed some really funny quotes.
That leaves my beloved Symone, Olivia, and Utica. They were all, frankly, terrible. Utica made some really low ball size jokes directed at Nina West Loni Love. Honestly, the best part about her set was when Loni was like, “Oh, yeah? I’m not funny? You’re the one bombing.” Dang, Gina. Utica bombed, and she bombed hard. But she looked awesome. So, Symone and Utica were in the bottom. Utica was ultimately sent home.
Utica is a positive ray of sunshine, so she’ll be fine. And she’ll always have Clara.
Alright, henny, let’s get shrunk. This week, it’s all about bad special effects and pussy cat jokes. Look, it’s a parody of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and, well, it was not great. Olivia was sent packing. I feel like it was her time. I actually felt like it was her time a few weeks ago when she failed to make Denali over in her image. But that’s just me and probably a lot of other people.
So, we officially have a top four. It’s mostly what I expected. I’ve said it a few times, but I totally misjudged Rose. That all ended around the third or fourth episode when I realized she’s a damn delight. I like that she talks shit but ends it with the word “baby”, which makes it okay. I predicted Symone, Rose, and Gottmik would be in the top, but I was unsure about Kandy. I’m still unsure about Kandy.
We’re winding down, coming to the end of the season and, honestly, I’m fine with it. I don’t know if it’s a me problem or what, but I’m just not super jazzed about this season. It mostly just makes me want to rewatch Season 12 and All Stars 2. But, to be fair, I’d be fine watching those seasons any time.
Readers, that’s all I’ve got.