Ok, so obviously this blog is stewing with spoilers so don’t read if you for some reason haven’t watch 1666 yet. Or do, who am I to tell you how to live. Just be warned.
When I sat down to watch 1666 I was so hype and then my hype did diminish just a tad. The first half of 1666 is a very good example of a genre of horror that I’m just not about. You know the type-everyone needs a shower, animals die in cruel and foreboding ways, and there’s always some kind of busybody goat or something running about asking provocative questions. Just not my thing. It does very much remind me of The Crucible and is an excellent example of how the patriarchy and mass hysteria bloom and destroy the innocent. And, you guys, I must offer my sincerest apologies for any shit I talked about Sarah Fier in my previous blogs. I should have known better. How could anyone named Sarah be all that bad?
Sarah Fier is a legend. Such a brilliant badass who managed to lay a curse on her persecutors and finally got those bastards. Good for her. It was also lovely to see the actors from the first two movies back and alive. It also supports my whole reincarnation belief. That these souls have been trapped in a toxic cycle. Each playing their parts until finally they make the progress to break that cycle and move on to new things. My favorites here were knowing that even Kate’s ancestors were clever shitstirrers and also that Cindy Berman’s past self was having all the sex and drug fueled fun that Cindy never let herself enjoy. Get it, Abigail Berman! I also really appreciated all of the call backs to the first two movies that we get in 1666. They made me happy.
So, you can imagine my excitement when the movie went back to 1994 and we picked up with our original crew. Here’s a thing about me. For a horror movie to really work I want heartfelt speeches before the final battle, some laughs (“You smell like an androgynous baby’) and a clever Scooby Doo type scheme to stop the bad guys. Part 2 delivered all of those things. It also brought Martin back into the story and I think that character is so great. Like, so great.
I also loved that they were like, “Sheriff Goode is fully an evil (douche) wizard and he absolutely knows that we know so a whole army of killers in going to descend at any moment. Totally need to get ready to fight. Totally. But first, let’s break into a Gadzooks and spray paint this whole ass mall with insulting blacklight graffiti. You know, for ambiance”. Because I would do the same thing. Good job y’all.
And that Scooby Doo plan is epic and fun. The last 45 minutes of the movie are so tense and thrilling. The supersoakers filled with neon blood. The way that our first round of killers slither into the space walking right past the terrified good guys. Trapping them with the security gates, spraying the killers with the blood so that they go after each other. That was so fun you guys. And I love that Ziggy got to Carrie that piece of shit Nick Goode.
While we’re at it let’s talk about the pure evil that is the Goode family. So selfish, all of them. They’re sacrificing all of these lives, putting a whole community through constant oppression, and for what? McMansions, so that Nick can be the lame ass town sheriff and live in a creepily ornate and immaculate house? Like, you’re willing to sell your souls for that? Fuck outta here with that mess. And then when this asshole does show up to the mall to kill some more innocent people has is 100% weak sauce.
Like, I genuinely think that he believes that he cares for Ziggy. Somehow he allows himself to believe that but as soon as stuff goes sideways he’s absolutely willing to sacrifice her. Dick. AND THEN he’s such a chicken shit that the second he get’s a little knife wound he runs straight away and summons a supernatural 8 year old with an admittedly terrifying mask and a baseball bat and a teenage choir girl gone evil to do the dirty work for him. What a freaking wuss. For real, fuck that guy.
I did love the final sequence when Deena is chasing his wounded ass through those creepy rock tunnels that ole granpappy chickenshit built. They way that it’s the reverse of the 1666 sequence. Goode is the prey now and is fully gonna get ended by a pissed off 17 year old lesbian. Never fight a teen in a mall Nick Goode. They are at their peak powers there. Like Sydney Prescott on a set of stairs they will kick your ass every time. I also loved that when Goode touched that horrible pulsing goo Sarah came back and chanted that very powerful and eerie curse at him while he was surrounded with visions of the people who died by his family’s hand. Good(e) stuff.
And the queer kids lived this time! Which is lovely. I also appreciated the bulletproof vest made of Fear Street books that Deena made herself. It felt very like a shout out to Wynonna Earp which I appreciated. So the good (not Goode) guys won and the curse was lifted. It was lovely to see the immediate shift after the curse was broken. Seeing Deena and Sam tracking mud and blood all over Goode’s immaculate carpet and emerging from his fancy ass house just in time to see a Sunnysider get hit by a garbage truck. It sounds terrible but I did laugh at that. I also laughed at the post it by Deena and Josh’s front door that said, “I’ll be home for dinner. DON’T COOK. Love Dad”. And Martin trying to hustle his early MP3 player at the school. Josh finally meeting his goth crush in real life. And Deena and Sam having burgers and making a headstone for Sarah Fier as Gigantic plays over the end of the movie. And I got a little teary when Ziggy knocked on Nurse Lane’s door to give her back her journal. It was so sweet when those two hugged.
Of course that’s not the final scene. I knew that they shouldn’t have left that dang spellbook just laying around in the underground murder caves. Can’t say I’m mad about it though. I love that they could potentially do a Marvel style universe of spin-offs and prequels in this Fear Street universe. What movie would you like to see? I’m thinking I want a Ruby Lane movie because out of all of those murderers Ruby is the scariest. Something about the way you can hear her singing that spooky ass song combined with a straight razor is terrifying. Anyway, good game Fear Street. I’ll be rewatching the whole trilogy come October and I hope you’ll do the same.
Holland + Harper Productions 