Okay, so riding a horse is hella hard. The trip down to the stables was easy peas. Tobias was just finishing up putting the horse seat and handlebars on…oh my god, this sounds like a setup to a romance novel. It is not. He left to get back to ‘mother’ and I attempted to getContinue reading “Chestnut and I have Parted Ways”
Since seeing the movie, I’ve told everyone I needed a nap around the time they’re about to start one of their asinine holiday festivities. Only a handful of these people even like me, so no one cares when I beg off so they can roast more chestnuts. These people are obsessed with nuts.
Turns out snowmobiles are not that great. It’s impossible to maintain my aesthetic while plowing through snow. I lost an eyelash, my wig was askew, and, because of the cold wind, I was forced to zip my insulated jumpsuit all up to my neck. Look, I have killer collarbones. I’d like everyone to know that.Continue reading “Snowmobiles, Smowmobiles”
The point is, I am now living in a Christmas nightmarescape and need help. I’m not entirely sure where I am, otherwise I would request extraction.
I feel like there’s a lot of pressure around the holidays to see people you don’t want to see, go places you don’t want to go, and drink egg-based drinks you definitely don’t want to drink.