Since seeing the movie, I’ve told everyone I needed a nap around the time they’re about to start one of their asinine holiday festivities. Only a handful of these people even like me, so no one cares when I beg off so they can roast more chestnuts. These people are obsessed with nuts.
Tag Archives: Short story
Snowmobiles, Smowmobiles
Turns out snowmobiles are not that great. It’s impossible to maintain my aesthetic while plowing through snow. I lost an eyelash, my wig was askew, and, because of the cold wind, I was forced to zip my insulated jumpsuit all up to my neck. Look, I have killer collarbones. I’d like everyone to know that.Continue reading “Snowmobiles, Smowmobiles”
A Smoky in a Strange Land
The point is, I am now living in a Christmas nightmarescape and need help. I’m not entirely sure where I am, otherwise I would request extraction.
Holland + Harper Productions 